Member-only story
The Weight of Loneliness: One Person’s Search for Connection
I keep my blinds closed most of the time. On days the only solace I can find is, in my bed. All I can manage to do is cry. It might seem pitiful. Thats how it is. People attempt to offer support. Their words don’t quite hit the mark. 'I wish I knew how to make things better for you' they express and truth be told I’m just as lost as they are.
There was a time, in the past when I had friends, a job and hobbies. However nowadays when others mention those memories it feels as if they are discussing someone I no longer recognize. It’s not that I am opposed to reclaiming my life; rather there is a sense of fear within me that holds me back, from attempting to do.
My body feels like its working against me. My stomach stays tight refusing to loosen up. The idea of eating turns my stomach so I. Skip meals altogether. Find myself munching on unhealthy snacks without really thinking. Even getting a nights sleep is a challenge. I’m tired but restless, tossing and turning all night dreading the day. My phone has become a symbol of how I feel. I stare at it hoping for any kind of message or notification to break the silence.. Nothing ever comes through. It’s a reminder that it seems like no one is thinking about me. My own thoughts can be my opponent.
I understand what you’re going through. I want you to know that you’re not alone. Opening up and sharing our experiences could be the step, towards finding healing.
